


It's Cas not Cass

by iCeDreams



Series: Poetry in the Raw [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Humor, It's Cas not Cass, Language, Names, Pet Names, Phonetics, Sam Winchester is a Little Shit, Sam is a nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-07 23:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iCeDreams/pseuds/iCeDreams
Summary: Dean is sodonewith Sam changing his contacts. It's Cas not Cass, damnit.----------Or the fic sparked by millions of fangirls vs writers of Supernatural over the years.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in jest. Please take it with a grain of salt. 
> 
> This started because lately there have been so many people debating over Cas vs Cass in my FB group.
> 
> No beta, but concrit is always welcome

“Sam! Stop changing my phone’s contacts, it’s driving me nuts!” Dean hollers as he aggressively goes through his phonebook into Cas’s entry, then mutters angrily about annoying brothers. Dean is so  _done_  with Sam messing with his phone. It’s Cas, not Cass, damnit.

Cas, who is sitting across the table from him, cocks his head to the side in question. Dean shows Castiel his name, which Sam wrote as Cass before deleting the extra s. Dean shakes his head when Sam comes in and hands beers for the two of them.

“Dude, I’ve changed that ages ago and you notice now?” Sam rolls his eyes in exasperation.

“It’s Castiel, not Cassiel, I dunno where all this extra s is coming from!” Dean gesticulates widely at his cell and at Castiel.

Sam nods slowly then grins at Cas. “Yeah, but I also  _told_  you it’s not because of that. A lot of languages that use the Latin alphabet kinda use single s and the double s to indicate a difference in pronunciation.”

“Like a soft s and a hard z sound,” Cas contributes, leaning forward. “It’s the contrast between ‘desert’ and ‘dessert.’ English has lost this nuance through time. So sometimes the singular s can be pronounced as a z even if the position demands an s, but a double s is almost always pronounced as a soft s.”

“Cas, you’re supposed to take  _my_  side,” Dean says shooting Cas a betrayed look. He drops his cellphone on top of the book he’s been reading for the case before this entire debate started and opens the beer Sam has given. “I’m just saying, we’re in America, we speak  _English_.”

Sam looks like he’s holding in his laughter and barely puts his beer down before he could fall ungainly onto his chair and clutch his sides. “Yeah, Dean, because American English  _obviously_  has superior phonetics. I realize this is the reason I usually take the Latin elocution. And why there are plenty of commonly mispronounced English words of the s variety.”

“Excuse you.” Sam offended Dean. Dean speaks Latin perfectly—passably, who cares? It got the job done. “It’s Cas- _tiel_ , not Cas- _siel_ , why would I give my best bud the nickname of some  _other_ angel? Wait, that  _is_  another angel, right? You’re not hoarding all the Cas names?”

Cas has a small smile of amusement on his face when the question is directed at him. “I do have a brother named Cassiel.” Cas takes the pad he’s been taking notes for his research. He flips it onto a new page writing קפציאל followed by כצפיל and two Enochian words.

“The first human inscription of our names is similar so I understand the confusion in the transliteration. The Enochian is more accurate in this regard since I am ‘God’s Shield’ and he is ‘The Speed of God.’” He shows the brothers what he’s written in his blocky script, which immediately stops Sam’s laughter and switches from annoying brother to geeky fanboy.

“They’d still both be Cass,” Sam points out when he hands over the notepad to Cas. “It’s not mutually exclusive.”

“Mutually exclusive my ass,” Dean grumbles and Sam guffaws again.

“Yeah, I’d say,” Sam snorts out in between laughter. Dean did  _not_  understand the joke.

“Sam,” Cas chides, there’s a warning in his voice. “You shouldn’t tease Dean so.”

“Yeah, Sam,” Dean mimics.

“The double s still looks way cooler,” Sam insists, “and the dictionary in Word doesn’t accept Cas but accepts Cass.”

“Oh yeah, because Microsoft is the authority. Let’s see if you like the extra m in  _your_  name Samuel,” Dean argues.

Sam gave Dean a look showing that he is not impressed with the argument. “Totally different rules, man.”

“Uh,” Cas interjects and the brothers swivels towards him. He winces. “It’s actually quite similar. Sam doesn’t have a double m but Sammy does.”

Sam shakes his head emphatically. “No, no, those are arguments for shortening the name that has the I-E sound in the end, like Bob and Bobby, John and Johnny, or Cas and Cassie so the rules are  _different_. I can’t be a Samm.” He says the last part by exaggerating the length of the m in his name.

Castiel chuckles but nods his head in agreement so Dean gave them a glare worthy of a petulant high school girl. Cas ended his amusement with a small cough before saying, “Ahh then maybe this one then: British English use s for words that Americans would apply a z for. Words like analyze, realize are spelled with s there, but Americans tend to go with the phonetics and use a z. So someone, not knowing me, might read Cas as ‘Caz’ if they see the single letter.”

“We’re in  _America_ , we don’t make simple things over complicated! It’s a z when it sounds like a z and an s when it hisses! And it’s  _my_  goddamn phone! Who’s gonna read Cas as ‘Caz’ using my phone?” Dean snaps before he takes a calming breath. It shouldn’t really  _matter_  but he‘s annoyed over it. Still, it isn’t his name and if Cas wanted Cass, he will suck it up. “So what do you think, Cas? Which one do you like better?”

A crease appeared between Castiel’s eyebrows as he gives the question more deliberation than Dean thinks it deserves. “I am an Angel of the Lord, Dean, I do not have a preference between pronunciation or the written word. It is like asking what accent I prefer. I was Katzpiel before I ever became Castiel, I am sure it will evolve again as language inevitably does through time. You should use what you are comfortable with, as I do not have an attachment to either form.”

Dean hadn’t thought of that. He’ll forever be Dean Winchester and even if someone sorely mispronounces his name, he’ll point them in the right direction. His identity is connected with his name, so he’ll probably not answer to something else. Maybe he won’t even know that his name is being called if they change it so much. But Castiel being both immortal and someone that receives prayer can’t go flitting about random people praying and  _correcting_  them over some silly thing.

“But I do like the fact that this is the first time someone has cared enough to give me a shortened version of my name,” Cas amends, “and to care enough for what it looks like in paper.”

Dean’s ears redden considerably at the statement. He didn’t even know why.

“Awwwww, Cas!” Sam jumps up and pulls Dean and Cas together. “Group hug!”

“SAAAAM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS: once Dean wanders off, Sam goes to Cas. 
> 
> Sam: I'm still right though, yes? Yes?
> 
> Cas: I'm not getting in the middle of this.
> 
> Sam: Doesn't make me wrong!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Everybody has been fighting over this lately and I laughed my head off. Really. People are so passionate about fanfiction. If you want to talk about it further in the comments, be my guest. But please respect everyone's opinions.
> 
> Anywhoo, English is not my first language. Therefore, I resonate strongly with Cas in this (plus if you have grammar advise and if you think my tenses switch too much give me a holler. I'm very receptive). 
> 
> _Also_ I'm not against American phonetics, I'm just amused that people think it's the _only_ way to be correct.
> 
> Because I'm ESL I researched the following:  
> S vs SS in the English language  
> [English words for ss pronounced as z](https://jakubmarian.com/english-words-in-which-ss-is-pronounced-as-z/)  
> [single s and double ss](https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/309255/single-s-and-double-ss)  
> [Double consonants in English](http://www.antimoon.com/forum/t12531.htm)
> 
> And my very old research on Cassiel vs Castiel (Taken from my old Big Bang research):  
> Research of the transliteration of [Cassiel versus Castiel](http://kaphtziel.blogspot.com/2004/12/angel-kaphtziel.html) (I largely believe kaphtziel's blogspot because a) it's not fandom related, b) it was posted in December 2004, where Supernatural could not have colored it at all and c) they cite reference... if you really want that meta and are fond of research go and peruse it.)
> 
> So there, Castiel and Cassiel are two different angels. During the transliteration of Castiel (Katzpiel, etc) scholars stumbled along the way and merged him with Cassiel (Kaphziel, Quafsiel, Kafziel, Casziel, Casiel). Transliteration means going from the Hebrew alphabet: ' קפציאל ' to the Roman letters 'Cassiel' as opposed to translate which goes like: love = amour = ai which can all be Romanized. 
> 
> As an aside, I only googled the hebrew transliteration of Castiel so if anyone knows better give me a holler. Because I know Cassiel's Hebrew is קפציאל due of research but I can't find Castiel's because it gets buried in Supernatural references instead of Kabbalah references.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Additional information.  
> [YouTube upload of Misha Collin's FB live](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVKuMwg5wMQ) on Cas vs Cass after the fandom imploded  
> (Shows script of Cass, as well as on the pronounciation)  
> [Twitter of Erik Kripke](https://twitter.com/vertigo_comics/status/677548770670739456) Erik Kripke tweets **I think “Cass” just looks cooler on the page. And “Cas” might sound like “Caz.” But that’s just my opinion. Now get back to work.**
> 
>  **Other notable facts:**  
>  We see Dean's Cellphone in a couple of shots in Supernatural.  
> Castiel's entry is Castiel in Episode 11.04 (Baby)  
> This entry changes to Cass in Episode 12.07 (Rock Never Dies)  
> It also makes an appearance in Jack's Cellphone as Cass in Episode 14.18 (Absence)
> 
> * * *


	2. Ssam is not the same as Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean retaliates.
> 
> \--
> 
>  _Also known as_ : the second chapter of the Cass vs Cas fic that I didn't know was in me.

“Dean!” Sam fumes barging into the garage while Dean is giving the finishing touches to the waxing of the Impala. The gigantor is waving his cellphone around in the air making unintelligible noises that Dean assumes are sounds of protest. He must have found the mobile owner’s info and is not pleased with the result. “Why are you so childish?”

Dean chuckles, wiping his hands and getting a good view of the screen. “Oh,  _I’m_  the childish one? Who was it that changed my contacts for Cas’s name again?”

“It doesn’t mean you could give my name an extra s! Sssam doesn’t even make sense!” Sam seethes. Twiddling around with his phone settings and trying to reverse the damage done, he mutters under his breath about the absurdity of it all.

“The extra s doesn’t make sense, does it?” Dean repeats rolling his eyes before he gives a pat to the Impala as a goodbye. Entering the bunker to search for a snack, he beelines for the kitchen. Sam is not far behind, still muttering occasionally about how irrational Dean is. There may have been a few more slights to the older Winchester’s character, but Dean is well-versed at tuning Sam out when he ranted about things like vegetables, music, and apparently extra s-es in names.

Sam continues to talk about the now very worn argument of phonetics cycling back to pronunciation rules when they entered the kitchen. They find Cas there, putting away groceries. The angel turns to watch them when they came in but freezes midway when he hears what Sam is ranting about. Cas abruptly makes an about face to try to exit but Dean beats him to it by hooking his index finger in the collar of Cas’s coat. “Nope, you’re staying with me when he’s all—bleh” Dean finishes gesturing vaguely at Sam.

“I see,” Cas intones slowly before letting out a sigh. “I had thought we already talked about this. The last time was rather—exhaustive.”

“Dean was messing with my phone!” Sam argues again motioning to his cell and showing the extra s in front of his name. Dean notes the crinkle in Cas’s eyes when the angel dutifully reads off the screen and followw it with patient appeasing noises.

“If I recall, the reason we’re having this conversation was because you ‘messed with’ Dean’s phone first,” Cas points out diplomatically, glaring at Dean when Sam isn’t looking. What? The angel should have expected Dean to retaliate. This is practically the setup of the last Prank War. “I’m sure if you stopped changing the contacts, he’d stop attempting to spell your name in parseltongue.”

“Look at you dropping Harry Potter references,” Dean praises giving Cas a thumbs up while rummaging through the fridge for the makings of a sandwich.

“But Cas! You  _know_  I’m right!” Sam answers, stubbornly crossing his arms in determination.

“Can we just settle that my name’s a commonly misspelled word and leave it at that?” Castiel pleads at Sam.

“Hey wait a minute!” Dean butts in, slapping the ham onto the slice of bread and pointing the cheese at Cas. “It’s not a misspelling. I dubbed you Cas, so I spell Cas, so I have the correct spelling! I am _the_  authority.”

Sam slaps his palm over his forehead. “I’m sure Chuck would have a field day with that. ‘I dubbed you Cas,’” he mimics obnoxiously. 

“And I don’t like Cass!” Dean hisses the last s to emphasize its length as a double consonant. “It rhymes with ass.”

“Oh, grow up, Dean,” Sam grouses, shooting an apologetic look at Castiel before continuing,  “by your reasoning Cas and Cass both rhyme with ass regardless of how the name’s spelled.”

“Cass is a girl’s name and Cas is not,” Dean fires back, still exaggerating his s sounds to differentiate the two spellings.

Sam blinks. There is a pregnant pause while they all took in that confusing statement before Cas says, “I’m actually a celestial wavelength of intent. Biologically, wavelengths do not have genders but I identify as male. Right now. In  this vessel.”

It’s Dean’s turn to blink. Sam scrunches his face in an effort to understand how the conversation got away with them, but Sam gets a second wind. “Cas is genderless therefore the gender argument—even though absurdly attributing the extra letter for sex is ridiculous—is invalid.”

“He just said he’s a dude!” Dean protests finishing up his sandwich and then taking a huge bite out of it.

“This isn’t a gender debate!”

By now, Cas is shifting from foot to foot and looking at the two brothers uneasily. “Guys, it’s an extra letter. Please, you need not fight. You can’t even distinguish the z pronunciation with the s sometimes if you want to pronounce it as Kaz. The French pronounce it Kaz sometimes... well Balthazar didn’t, but he wasn’t French he just spent a lot of time in France when they were—“

 _Jerk!_  Sam mouths at Dean. Dean flips Sam off as he hands Cas the extra sandwich he made. Sam clears his throat before saying, “Yeah, Cas. You know we like messing with each other. No need to take it seriously.”

“Truce?” Cas asks, sitting down and taking the sandwich. Dean promptly makes another one and handed it to Sam as a peace offering. Sam hesitates but takes it and eats nodding along to the proposed truce.

Dean grins. Wait until Sam realizes Dean changed everything he could get his hands on.  _Including_  Sam’s main gmail account.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why this argument continues on ad infinitum, [no I lied, it's because everyone in the fandom likes arguing about their passions] but intermittently my friend Audrey and I talk about it and chapters like these are born.


End file.
